She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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