Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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