only if we run a train.
done.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
