WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
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He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
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Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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