well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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