So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
