I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
