Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
A bitchslap is in order.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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