he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize