just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize
