Already got asked if we're dating
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
