that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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