I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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