i don't like sucking hair
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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