Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
