just come out here and I will go home with you...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
