Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize