he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
