Sry I called you an 8
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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