Walk of Shame. In a state park.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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