Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize