I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
