Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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