So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
