oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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