my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I am naked and annoyed.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Holy shit dude........stairs
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize