i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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