you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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