Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
