I didn't shave. On purpose
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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