I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
