Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
