Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
