batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
