in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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