Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
