We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
