You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
