***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
