Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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