I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
