if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
