Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
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I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
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He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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