new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
