my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
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