porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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