I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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