see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
