I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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