Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
