i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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