my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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