you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
