He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
