he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
