I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
