Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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