I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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