I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
