You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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