And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
