I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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