What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
