I'm gonna have a badass scar
he thought i was a dude.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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