Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
