well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
