I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize