high people should be assigned attendants
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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