I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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